The Office Mole – Grahame May (25th)

In late 1980 I was at a loose end as I had just given up being in private practice, after less than a year, because I was bored stiff. My ex- partner was very understanding and wished me the best of luck. { I understand he soon found an ideal, or maybe a better replacement, so all was well that ended well.) A small private company on a nearby Industrial Estate was advertising for an experienced Accountant and, as it was only a short distance away, I sent in my CV and got the job after a very amateurish sort of interview. The Managing Director relied on his wife, the Company Secretary, to ask most of the questions and it transpired that the company badly needed a financial shake up. It dealt in medical supplies and employed six reps, four female office staff. a marketing manager and a young warehouse lad. I found that quite a number of customers had not paid all their bills and nobody had been detailed or even trained to chase them up. In contrast there was an elderly female bookkeeper who had a tendency to pay incoming bills far too early which meant that the Company was running an unnecessary overdraft. I also discovered that some of the stock of medical supplies had a fair number of outdated items and told the warehouse lad to list everything by date of expiry. I submitted a proper typed progress report to the MD and received a handwritten reply saying OK, PLEASE FIX ALL.

It took many months but I did ‘” fix all” as well as re-train one of the office girls in the art of Credit Control. I also turned my attention to the six Reps , their expenses and company cars. Only two of them were reasonably profitable, but my intervention went down like a lead balloon! There was no response from the MD so I re-submitted a full costing of each individual against their sales total for the past twelve months , all of which made rather grim reading ! At the end of the year the Customer Services lady. who had very ably dealt with all the orders and the despatch of goods. left because she was fed up with the MD and his wife interfering, meddling and changing customer orders around after she had completed all the paperwork. Before she went she told me that they also listened at office doors and warned me to ” be careful.” About a month or so later the MD formally announced that HE , after much consideration, had decided to dispense with the services of ALL the Reps. He also let it be known that HE was also going to appoint an Office Manager and give him one of the surplus company cars. That did it! I had had enough. I did not warrant any of this as I had managed and retrained most of the office staff as well as ensuring that the Company was financially sound. I submitted my letter of resignation which was unanswered and, on the day I left the company, the MD and his wife were, very conveniently, nowhere to be seen!! Meanwhile, I had previously heard on the grapevine that the American company on the adjoining Industrial Estate was about to make changes among some of the senior staff. When the various posts were advertised my application was promptly submitted and the result was seven glorious years of top class employment as described in my article WORKING FOR THE YANKS, Parts1 and 2.

Not long after I retired I ran into the ex- marketing manager of the small medical supplies company and we swapped tales about the last years of our respective careers in a local hostelry. He too had left the company sometime after me and then, without warning, he suddenly dropped a bombshell ! The elderly female book-keeper had been keeping the MD and his wife regularly informed of all the gossip as well as who said what to who and when. Apparently I was regarded as one of the major culprits, which probably explained a great deal ! It was the first and only time that I came across, or had knowledge of, an OFFICE MOLE but that did not mean they were a rarity. Sometimes I used to get the odd cold shiver or two whenever I reminisced about certain possible relative experiences in my career but now , thank goodness, there is no longer any reason to be concerned.