The Times They are A-Changing – Peter Culley (29th)

THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGING

Way back in 1906 that fine author Rudyard Kipling wrote a charming ditty extolling the antics of our home-grown smugglers. It is well worth consulting and reading in full, but I intend to quote only a few of the opening lines in this article designed to highlight the contrasts between the then and now,

THE SMUGGLER’S SONG

If you wake at midnight, and hear a horse’s feet, Don’t go drawing back the blind, or looking in the street, Them that ask no questions isn’t told a lie,
Watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!

Five and twenty ponies Trotting through the dark – Brandy for the Parson, ‘Baccy for the Clerk Laces for a lady, letters for a spy, And watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by!

Of course all that was written 119 years ago and – as perceptive readers will be aware, much has changed in this island of ours. It is most definitively time for an upgrade to this romantic picture of life long ago. Sadly my skills are no match for the great man, but I have nevertheless tried to convey something of the social upheaval that confronts us today.

THE INVADER’S SONG

If you stroll the beach at midday, and see the small boats come, Don’t go running to the cop shop, or ring the BBC. Best to just say nothing, and leave it to the powers that be, They said they’d Stop and Smash the Boats – how well did that work out?

Five and sixty seafarers crossed the Channel ‘neath the sky, Safely launched from Calais, where gendarmes waved goodbye. Then guided into Dover port by Border Force for free, They came ashore in Good ‘Ole England, where everything is free!
No Customs check or Passport scan await them here on land. Just a short drive to Reception, 3 meals a day, and weekly cash in hand. Don’t ask no questions stranger, and you won’t be told no lie. Stuff it in your back pocket, there’ll be other freebies by and by.

Its really true, we’ve reached the Promised Land. The traffikers told us no lies, the lawyers queue to serve us all. No going back, we’re here to stay, Change is coming – on demand God help the Brits who get to pay. (Did no-one ask them how they felt?)